Fertiles and Infertiles

Since I am about half way through my 2ww, I don't have much to report on, so I thought I would write this instead
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Fertile girl and Infertile girl are both entering a cycle at the same time: here are some of their thoughts-

Pre Cycle-

Fertile Girl- has just talked her husband into ttc a few months earlier then they expected...she just has so much baby fever she cannot wait any longer...as she awaits her period in a few days, she happily goes to buy what she knows will be her last box of tampons for nine months

Infertile Girl- is just coming to the end of ther zillionth cycle-she has lost count a long time ago...she heads to the fertility center and a couple hours after a blood draw a nurse calls to say" sorry, but it was negative"... as infertile girl lets this sink in she thinks about all the ultrasounds, shots, 2 days of IUI's, the lovely progestrone suppositories that she had to endure and of course the $2,000 she payed out of pocket that is basically money thrown out the window...infertile girl cries for a few hours/days and then grudgingly goes to buy what is her thousanth box of tampons since she has started ttc. she has mixed feelings of hope and despair as she starts her last try of IUI with injectibles before moving on to the really big guns IVF

Cycle Day One-
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Fertile Girls- can't believe she is so excited to see her period... she is officially ttc:)

Infertile Girls- calls the fertility clinic to scedule the base line ultrasound

Cycle Day three-
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Fertile Girl- can't wait for her period to be over already

Infertile Girl- sits with her legs in stirrups and praying that she doesn't bleed all over the doctor and table...goes down to the pharmacy and pays $600 for her new meds

Cycle Day seven-
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Fertile Girl- can't believe that it's almost time to ovulate...goes out and buys sexy lingerie and anticipates the big day...

Infertile girl- goes for another transvaginal ultrasound to see how many follicles she has...listens to dr. tell her one more time that if this doesn't work, she should move on to IVF...drops $100 at the clinic goes home and tells her husband that it's that time of the month, this doesn't mean what it usually means, between af and the progestrone suppositories this is the time of month they can actually have sex

Cycle Day nine-
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Fertile Girl- starts telling her friends she is ttc...they all giggle and then comment on how cute babies and baby clothes are

Infertile Girl- goes for another ultrasound...drops another $100 at the clinic...follicles are ready to go- time for the HCG trigger :) hope starts up again for the non fertile as she goes home and tries numerous times to inject the 1 1/2 inch needle into her ass....proceeds not to be able to sit on her right cheek for the rest of the day

Ovulation-
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Fertile Girl- The moment has come!!!! In pure excitment and joy, fertile girl and husband have sex in the privacy of their bedroom... after they finish, fertile girl joyfully cries out" I think we just made a baby"

Infertile girl- sends husband to the clinic after harrassing him for the past hour to hurry up or he will be late...husband walks non to happy out the door...2 hours later infertile girl heads to the clinic herself...as she gets there and lays half naked on the table she has a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach as to what her husbands sperm count will be....dr finally enters the room with the nurse and inserts the cold speculum and begins to attempt to get the cateter through the cervix...after some prodding around he exclaims " think happy thoughts" has her husbands sperm is shot into her uterus ( husband at this point could no longer be present). Infertile girl then lays on the table for another half an hour wondering if this may actually be it ... she will go through this exact process tommorow as well, and then pay around $600 for the two days of IUI's.

1DPO
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Fertile Girl- Husband begins reffering to her as his pregnant wife

Infertile Girl- pees on a pregnancy test because a. she wants to make sure the trigger did in fact work and b. because she wants to make sure that this isn't all a hoax and that these things do actually give off two lines ( by the way those two lines are the most beautiful site in the world )

5DPO
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Ferilte Girl- Has a moment were she begins to doubt herself... She heard about a woman who had to try for four WHOLE months before finally concieving...fertile girl can't bear to think about this because she is just soooo impatient to have a baby, there is no way she could possible make it four months....however she logically thinks to herself that there simply couldn't be any way she couldn't be pregnant...i mean she did have unprotected sex while she was ovulating...how could she NOT be pregnant....she laughes a little at herself for being so silly

Infertile girl- Begins to get nerves that maybe this cycle once again didn't work....she just doesn't feel any differant then she did last week before the IUI's...oh of course she has extremely sore breasts, head aches, nausea, and contemplates laying naked at night on the balcony to ward off the heat waves, but she knows these are simply side effects from the meds she is taking...she begins to get nervous about the next step...IVF...she thinks about the $15,000 or so that she will be paying out of pocket and thinks to herself that if that doesn't work what will she do...how many times can she afford to pay out that kind of money... she can't believe she has gotten this far...IVF used to seem so far in the future , and here it is, just waiting for her to get another BFN

9 DPO-
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Fertile Girl- her mom starts bringing up that she is ready to to a grandma soon...fertile girl shares her secret that her and her husband are trying to have a baby, and that her wish of being a grandma will soon come true...

Infertile Girl- After 2 women announce their pregancies at work ( one of whom wasn't even trying, it "just happened" ) infertile girl goes out with some friends to blow off some steem...one of her friends who got married after infertile girl began ttc casually announces that after 2 month of trying, her and her husband are expecting a baby... after infertile girl puts on a brave face in front of her friend she cries the whole way home...once at home,infertile girls husband announces that he talked to his brother earlier and guess what, him and his wife are expecting their first baby... after hearing this news infertile girl calls up one of her friends who is single and doesn't want children to vent about all these fertile people...infertile girls friend suggests that maybe infertile girl just isn't meant to have children...after a few more minutes infertile girls friend says she is worried because she had a fling three weeks ago and forgot to use a condom and now she is a week late...after infertile girl gets off the phone and considers hurling it out the living room window it rings again and this time is a nosy relative calling to gossip...after hearing about so and so's new baby the nosy relative tell infertile girl that she should have a baby, it's time now and she isn't getting any younger.... at this point all infertile girl wants to do is down several shots of some hard liquer, but doesn't because there is still that sliver of chance that maybe she is pregnant...instead she climbs into bed ,flips on the t.v. only to hear the news broadcaster say " and after the break we will reveal which new celebrity couple announced today they are expecting their first child"..................

11 DPO
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Fertile Girl- decides to head out to the store and buy a pregnancy test...she knows she is testing before her period is due, but she just cannot wait any longer...thes past 11 days were the longest of her life, and she is just sooo impatient to find out...

Infertile Girl- decides that tommorow she may as well take a test...that way if it is negative she can still tell herself that maybe it was just too early to test if it is negative

12 DPO
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Fertile Girl- wakes up with butterflies in her stomach...it's time to take the test...she sneaks into the bathroom and after she is done she puts the test on the sink and sees the control line pop up...after a minute or so she still only sees the one line and starts to get anxious becuase this can't be right...how can she not be pregnant after she did everything right...after a few moments sure enough, that faint second line shows up... fertile girl is ecstatic!!!!!!! she goes back to bed , where her husband is still peacefuly sleeping and nudges him awake, whispering excitedly " your going to be a daddy"... husband immediately wakes up and they hug, laugh and kiss...after they settle down husband places his hands on his wife's flat belly and they happily think how their lives are about to change........

Infertile Girl- also wakes up with butterflies in her stomach...she sneaks into the bathroom with her husband still asleep and nervously unwraps the 750th pregnancy test she has taken since ttc....after she pees on the test she too sets it on the sink and stares. The control line pops up immediatly....infertile girl keeps staring at where the second line should appear, hoping to see something...anything....after 5 minutes the test strip is snow white, except for that dark red control line that seems to be mocking her....feebily infertile girl picks up the test and stands on the toilet holding the test up to the bathroom light, hoping to see the faintest of lines.....nothing.....she leaves the bathroom with a hollow feeling in her stomach...she tells herself it could still be too early, but her heart tells her its not...she gets back in bed and begins to cry, softly not to wake her husband...however her husband is awake and puts his arms around her...he doesn't have to ask why she is upset...after awhile she looks up, to see that his eyes are also red.....she thinks about the next step ...IVF and how scared she is to take that step... the thoughts going throuh her head are how many more shots IVF requires, the egg retrieval process, the fact that it will be a doctor that will be making her baby, the $15,000 that will all be riding on this one try, etc etc etc.......................................