A look back...

Happy New Years Eve!!!

I started out the last day of 2005 with a follicle check. Good news:) My dr. was really happy the way I responded to the Gonal F. My lining is good and I have 4 follicles that are growing nicely. One on my right and three on my left :) I will hopefully ovulate all of the:) I have another ultrasound Monday and then 1st IUI is either Tuesday or Wednsday.

So good news to end the year, even if a year ago I wouldn't have dreamt this is where I would be.

Last New Years eve we were at our friends party in Germany. There was a big paper taped to the wall and everyone was writing what they wanted in the New Year. We of course wrote that we wanted a baby.

Instead of getting a baby, we have gotten to go down this road. At the start of 2005 I just thought it was slightly odd that I wasn't pregnant after 5 cycles. I gave it another few months when in April I kinda gave myself an ultimatum. I was going through one of those cycles when you think you have finally succeeded. I remember thinking that is af came that was it-something had to be wrong. Sure enough af came and a few weeks later we found out that dh had a low count.

I researched and got dh numerous vitamins and throughout the summer he took those. In July my regular ob-gyn told me to try a cycle of IUI. We went in and dh count had almost doubled, my dr. was ecstatic that this would work. A couple weeks later I got my period on a 747 8 hours into a flight to Frankfurt. I was thinking that I could finally announce a pregnancy to my family and dh's family. I ended up putting on a brave face and told everyone we just weren't ready yet for children.

At the end of September after another failed IUI I went to see my RE for the first time. Found out that my FSH is too high. 2 failed IUI's later, here I am. Ready to start my last IUI cycle.

Of course, my life wasn't over consumed by infertility. 2005 had many other ups and downs.
My dh stopped working for our family business and is now very happy in architecture school. My family business is doing better then it was last year at this time. My own business has florished wonderfully. My name is just a little more known in the design world then it was a year ago. I started a new line of candle holders that have knocked the socks off many desingers. I have traveled a lot within the U.S. ( but mostly for work ). I got my first dog. I moved to this house. I saw my childhood best friend marry her new best friend. I saw my BIL marry his girlfriend of 10 years. I saw my friend have a baby that was born the same month I would have been due had I been one of the fertile ones. I fell in love with the show "Lost". I saw about a thousand movies. A seal almost fell on my head while I was surfing. I surfed with dolphins for the first time.

There are a lot of other things that I just can't remember now, but all in all, I am a differant person then I was last year.

And next year, as 2006 comes to a close I will be sitting here with a baby ( or babies ) in my arms and think about how my long road ttc finally came to an end .